Overachieving and Overreaching
Sometimes when we don’t feel good enough, we create imbalance by overachieving or needing to be the best at something.
Overachievers are people who have achieved but still feel the need to do more, creating an imbalance in their lives. People who exhibit this behavior may be trying to compensate for feelings of insecurity and doubts about their worth. They may be chasing unresolved issues from their past into the present, or they might not be looking at their lives as a whole, but judging themselves based only on one aspect of their being. If this is a word that we’ve heard used with respect to our choices and lifestyle, it is worth examining in order to balance our lives for a more rewarding experience.
Having myself been an overachiever for unresolved feelings of “not enough” all of my life, I understand the weird dynamic of achieving and STILL being driven to “do more” because what was achieved was not enough. Another great example of overachieving driven by unresolved issues is the athlete. Athletes who have the overachiever bug will drive themselves physically to lengths that are actually unhealthy. So instead of doing their body good, they’re actually hurting themselves, which in turn makes it physically even HARDER to feel satisfied with your achievements. It’s a vicious circle often rooted in a misguided belief.
If we find that we cannot allow ourselves to experience and enjoy the present moment, putting pleasure off into some distant future, it may be a sign that we are being driven to achieve more than is truly necessary. Pushing ourselves beyond the point of exhaustion, or to the exclusion of important people in our lives, robs us of true and meaningful joy. Once we make the connection to the eternal part of us, it can nourish us and allow our priorities to shift from chasing after an elusive feeling to being fully present in the moment so that we can live our lives in the now.
Sometimes we need to look to those we love and admire in order to realize what we value about life. We can take time to note what we like about others, and then turn the mirror to reflect the light of those same words and feelings toward ourselves. It can be quite a revelation to see ourselves in this nourishing light. When we can put the energy that we’ve been devoting to a phantom sense of achievement into the truly satisfying aspects of our lives, we can restore the balance between our inner and outer worlds and experience true joyful peace.
A note of caution, when we turn the mirror toward ourselves, use what you’ve learned and admired from the other individual as opposed to comparing and contrasting. Let go of the expectations to achieve “what they have achieved”, for that sets up a whole new dysfunction in regards to loving the unique and incredible being that you are. Love the incredible YOU!